X-Men Origins: Wolverine, A Plot With Holes You Could Drive A Truck Through

“Beginnings: Wolverine: X-men Origins: The Commencement,” or whatever it’s called, is your standard mutant-superhero-gratuitous-Hugh-Jackman-topless-bio pic. It’s worth a bucket of corn and a matinee priced ticket but that’s about it.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine opened with more than $85 million in box office receipts.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine took in $87 million dollars in its opening weekend. That should be enough to cover Hugh Jackman's waxing bill.

Hugh Jackman does a fine job as Wolverine but Ryan Reynolds steals the show as Wade Wilson, the dude that becomes the killing machine known as Wading Pool (not the dude that becomes the quarterback for the Oakland Raiders).

Reynolds brings a breath of fresh air to the flick, even though he’s completely unbelievable as a super hero. No worries though, he’s in the movie for about two seconds.

Liev Schreiber was great as Wolverine’s brother and mutant Snagglepuss. In the movie he’s called Vicky.

Liev Schreiber gained 40 pounds of muscle to play Victor Creed.  Jackman and Schreiber worked together in the 2001 film Kate and Leopold.

Liev Schreiber gained 40 pounds of muscle to play Victor Creed. Jackman and Schreiber worked together before, in the 2001 film Kate and Leopold, ironically playing the same characters.

Will I. Am was apparently cast to draw a younger crowd with “stupid-ability.” He certainly wasn’t included in the movie for his “act-ability.” I. Am plays some ridiculous mutant with teleporting capabilities. He should have teleported himself off the movie set and back to the music studio.

Danny Huston goes out on a ledge and portrays the movie’s main villain, Colonel Strikeout. For Huston it was the role of a lifetime.

Taylor Kitsch, who plays Gumbo, suffers from that rampant Hollywood disease of “accent-disappear-itis.” Gumbo’s Creole accent comes and goes. By the end of the movie the Louisiana-born Gumbo suddenly turns into a surfer dude from Glendale.

Wolverine fights Dead Pool/Weapon XI (in comic books they are two different people).  Land of Punt won't reveal the winner of this battle

Wolverine fights Dead Pool/Weapon XI (in comic books they are two different people). Land of Punt won't reveal the winner of this battle but it's Wolverine.

The film is similar in structure to other X-men movies. The plot is quite involved and very interesting. There’s a lot to the story so in order to get everything in filmmakers had to hurry through the story at break neck speed. The upside to this rush is they avoid a Watchmen-length movie. The downside is it’s very cluttered.

There are some good action scenes, cool mutant abilities, corny one-liners and a lot of good-old-fashion mugging by Jackson et al. All these elements come together and make for a fairly satisfying Wolverine movie. With that being said, “Starting Up: Wolverine: X-men: Chapter 1, the Beginning” suffers from a few plot holes.

In the comics Agent Zero, also known as David North or Maverick,  Ability to absorb kinetic energy Force blasts Accelerated healing factor No discernible scent Anti-healing factor corrosive

In the comics, Agent Zero, also known as David North or Maverick, has the ability to absorb kinetic energy, force blasts, accelerated healing factor, and lacks a discernible scent. In the movie Agent Zero's mutant power is he's a flunky from a John Woo flick.

The big bad government types infuse Wolverine with this indestructible metal called Adamantium. After that Agent Zero, also known as Gilbert Arenas and portrayed by Daniel Henney, is sent by Colonel Strikeout to assassinate Wolverine.

Despite being the world’s greatest marksman (his mutant power must be aiming) Agent Zero fails to kill Wolverine (what a surprise). Then a scientist tells Strikeout that Zero didn’t stand a chance against Wolverine and the only way to kill him is with Adamantium bullets. These bullets are only used in the film’s final scene.

Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool.  Apparently, Reynolds has been interesting in playing this character for awhile.  Originally, Reynolds was only going to cameo as Wilson but the role grew after he was cast.

Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool (Wade Wilson). Apparently, Reynolds has been interested in playing this character for awhile. Wilson was only going to be cameo but the role grew after Reynolds was cast.

I don’t know much about tracking and eliminating superheroes, but wouldn’t you give the super bullets to the guy who’s a real good shot to begin with?

Kayla Silverchair, who’s mutant power is tactile hypnosis (how cool does that sound although in the comics that’s not her mutant power) gets involved in this byzantine scam to get Wolverine to agree to be infused with Admantium (yawn). She does this not because she’s evil, but because her sister, Emma Frost, is being held by the bad guys.

Silverchair is portrayed by the lovely <strong>Lynn Collins</strong>.  In the comics, Silverchair's power is an accelerated healing factor.  Why they changed it for the movie is anyone's guess.

Silverfox is portrayed by the lovely Lynn Collins. In the comics, Silverfox's power is an accelerated healing factor. Why they changed it for the movie is anyone's guess. The plot would have been better had Silverfox retained her comic book power.

Now it’s never clear if Wolverine is hypnotized by her, but if he was you’d think she’s just hypnotize him to think adamantium would be good for his bones. Regardless, why do the bad guy’s bidding when all you have to do is touch Colonel Strikeout and demand the release of your sister?

Apparently the best way to handle your enemies is to make them indestructible. After all that’s what Strikeout did to Wolverine when he gave him adamantium bones.

Now after the procedure there was some line about erasing Wolverine’s memory but, if you could erase Wolverine’s memory why not do that before you make him indestructible?

There is already speculation of sequel set in Japan.  Jackman is a fan of that part of the Wolverine saga.

There is already speculation of a sequel set in Japan as Jackman is a fan of that part of the Wolverine saga.

Lastly, a group of mutants has to escape a nuclear power plant where they were being held captive. To reach safety they have to walk through a maze of tunnels located under the plant. Not one of the half-dozen or so mutants has a power that could have helped them escape more easily? Why be a mutant if you have to walk?

“Wolverine X : The Original Men: Genesis” has some holes but the gaps in logic shouldn’t stop you from enjoying this action-oriented romp. If you like X-men, half-naked Hugh Jackman and excessive preening then you’ll enjoy this movie.

By the way, both Wolverine and the X-men are in the Land of Punt.

Advertisements

3 Responses

  1. the accent didn’t bothered me, It was still there but more toned down, Gambit was very well portrayed, Kitsch did justice to the character so I was happy. Even real cajuns hated the 90’s character accent.

  2. I enjoyed the movie along with my youngest son, but that is no doubt because I never really read the X-Men comics and as a result don’t have all that historical knowledge to drive me crazy. And the gaps in logic? Well, Hollywood hasn’t made a movie in years that didn’t have them by the dozen so I guess I have just lowered my standards.

    Great review though.

  3. This movie’s plot was so terrible. Thank you for flaming it properly. Colonel Strikeout’s Team X or whatever made the most disappointing cast of mutants ever. No development of characters took place throughout the movie except maybe a little background on Wolverine. I don’t know it was really just a bad movie. Even the CGI sucked. But the action was somewhat redeeming, however the one liners were so awful they made me shudder upon being uttered by even the talented Liev Schreiber or Hugh Jackman. Two thumbs down and thanks for ruining the X-Men movies with this plotless, historically incongruant piece of crap. =D

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: